We believe that the competitors who get the most criticism during the Carnival shows are those who participate in the local Queen of Carnival competition and the Jaycees Caribbean Queen Show.

They deserve our admiration for their courage in taking to the stage with the kinds of negative comments traded about contestants, mostly from girls and women.

We surmise that if the majority of us were able to empathise with people, especially in instances that do not show them in a good light, we would be less inclined to throw around these acerbic comments with such abandon.

Last year, loud laughter reverberated among the crowd when one of the contestants was battered by the wind in her costume and eventually fell to the floor.

If some of us had gone through a similar experience there is no doubt that the reaction would have been different. In effect, we would have been able to walk in her shoes.

However, this may not be an easy thing to do, despite the glib suggestion from family members, friends or colleagues.

Have you ever noticed that the occasion usually is one of stress or distress – an illness, accident, injury, a drug problem or some kind of trauma?

Walking in another person’s shoes goes beyond sympathising or simply saying that you understand. It entails on one level, imaginative projection into the emotions, thoughts, pain, etc that the other individual is going through at that moment and identifying with the situation, condition and his thought processes.

On another level, if the person has literally gone through a similar experience then he or she would re-live those feelings and may be spurred to extend a helping hand to the affected person(s) whether it is a family member, friend or even a stranger.

We often hear people say they would never want their worst enemy to go through what they might consider a terrible experience, because of the emotional or physical pain, stress or discomfort that they are going through or had to go through.

Although at one time we subscribed to that view, we have modified it somewhat, since experience has shown that the majority of humankind learns through personal experience rather than vicariously.

So having come to that realisation we now use that statement sparingly.

Some people are better able to empathise with people than others.

These persons would be referred to as people persons. They include some family members, friends and colleagues. The professionals would cover preachers, teachers, doctors, nurses, social workers, and psychologists among others.

We theorise that other persons who embrace life with abandon; people who are not afraid to develop every aspect of their lives: spiritual, educational, emotional or physical can also be seen as possessing this skill.

They may change jobs several times, engage in a variety of sporting activities, travel widely, play a musical instrument. They may even push the envelope by experimenting with illegal drugs or doing things that the rest of the timid ones would not even dream.

They would naturally experience the highs and lows of these situations, activities and events and so would be better able to relate to others who are going through the same thing.

However, there is a small percentage that would still not be able to empathise with people. These include children who do not understand the reasons for their parents’ actions and are unable to see things from an adult’s perspective not having had such an  experience; people who have never been immigrants; have never run afoul of the law; have never experimented with illegal drugs; have never had an abortion; never experienced the kind of poverty that forces one to steal, never engaged in prostitution, etc.

Additionally, there is a minuscule number of people, referred to as psychopaths, who are devoid of feelings and emotions and who despite going through similar experiences like the examples mentioned above, cannot empathise. They may be able to imitate the emotions or actions, but it is done in a cold and manipulative way.

We suggest that walking in another person’s shoes is an interpersonal skill well worth mastering. It helps you to better understand the people you love and those you cannot love.